Depression isn’t just the result of negative thinking, it’s also a reaction to a feeling.
We often learn how to cope with our feelings from early childhood experiences and it’s during childhood that we figure out how we can make ourselves feel better when we feel uncomfortable or bad.
But we don’t always learn this. Or we don’t always learn the best ways of doing this.
The adults in our lives while growing up aren’t perfect. It’s a guarantee that every parent will fail their children in some way, just as their parents failed them. It’s part of what makes being a parent so scary!
It’s ok, we’re human. Life isn’t easy. In fact, it’s incredibly difficult at times.
We are born with an instinct to survive and a guarantee that we won’t. And we have to watch that play out all around us.
And on top of all of this, we sometimes we feel bad because we feel bad!
You’ve seen them. The ultra postive therapy quotes on social media:
“The power of positive thinking.”
“Be greatful for what you have.”
“It can always be worse.”
They’re well intentioned but deny a certain aspect of the human experience. We experience emotions. We experience incredibly difficult emotions.
We experience sadness, heartache, and we grieve losses.
It’s ok to feel these things. But, sometimes, how we cope with these feelings isn’t working so well. And it’s impacting our ability to live life fully.
The good news is that what can be learned can be unlearned. The work I do with clients struggling with depression requires changing thought patterns and changing reaction patterns to emotions.
It does require work and consistency over a period of time. But the effort is worth it and psychotherapy can help with this.
Together, we can discover and learn new ways of coping, new ways of thinking, and new ways of reacting.
Life will continue to throw ambigious challenges at you, that’s a guarantee, but you can respond and cope in new and more helpful ways.
By engaging in therapy for depression, you can start to find joy in activities again, you can reengage in relationships with others, and you can feel confident about coping with life.